On Wednesday, June 13th, exactly 4 weeks before I was “scheduled” to have my baby girl, I had some “leaking” from my girl parts. If this is already TMI, I suggest you close out and pick another one of my 200 blog posts to read instead.

Anyhoo…I went straight to the experts at Google to find out what was going on. I read it was no biggie, but to call my midwife if I was concerned at all. After a call in and call back a few hours later, she specifically said (I swear I wasn’t in denial) it could be my water and if so I would need the antibiotic for the strep strain my body had in it (super common) so to come in to the hospital at some point that evening to get it tested. No rush. Eat dinner, do whatever, just come in sometime tonight.

We casually hopped into the car and drove to the hospital. The nurse on duty tested the fluid and yes, it was some water leaking. She said she needed to start me on the antibiotic and asked if I wanted to wear what I had on or I wanted to change into a gown. I was a little confused as to what we were doing as I thought I was just getting a shot of Penicillin or something and then heading home. So I asked “it depends, what are we doing?”. She looked at me like I was joking (which I wasn’t) and said “we’re having a baby!”

WHAT?? Now? Huh? I was super confused and I looked over at my boyfriend and shrugged my shoulders and said “apparently we’re having a baby”? He kind of nodded-ish? And that was that.

I watch a lot of movies and I had no idea your water can break without being a flood of fluid flowing down your legs on the street corner or in a fancy restaurant, but apparently it could be disguised as a small trickle of fluid that I thought was drops of pee from my incompetent bladder as a result of being 8 months pregnant! I had no idea that my water had “broken” and a baby was on it’s way! We had no bag packed and only a loose list of what we might need for the hospital when the time came. Well the time came! Matt went home to get us some stuff for the next few days and came back with vegan pizza from Whole Foods and a Zevia. Life was good!

We started the process to induce labor, but since I arrived at 0 cm dilation, this could take a while. After 24 hours my midwife was ready to start Pitocin, but my body wasn’t. I was only at 1.5 cm dilation and needed to be at least 2 to start the next step. So she manually (yes it is what is sounds like) dilated me another cm (OUCH) to get the party started.

The Pitocin kicked in WAY too fast and within an hour my contractions were coming back to back with no break. I needed something to take the edge off so they administered nitrous gas which is supposed to block pain signals to my brain.

I still felt the pain but added puking and dizziness and slurred speech and everything else that goes along with being higher than a kite. It was NOT what I wanted to feel at all. It was a great reminder why I don’t drink or do drugs. I hated that feeling of being out of control. The worst part was, after an hour on Pitocin and 3o mins on the gas, I was still only dilated to 3cm. CRAP!

I asked for an Epidural. They take about an hour to administer. That hour SUCKED!
After the Epidural kicked in (thank god) I was able to relax a little. I even slept a couple hours.

I was woken up at 5:30 the next morning feeling MUCH better! I was dilated to 8 cm and my midwife came in and broke the rest of my water. After that, things progressed quickly. Within 30 minutes I was at 10 cm and ready to push!

Pushing wasn’t hard. It just takes time. After 90 minutes of it, I was getting pretty tired, but was making progress. Her head was starting to peak out and my midwife grabbed my hand so I could touch her head (weird). She asked if I wanted a mirror to watch? Um…no thanks! I didn’t need to see all that 😊 but did look down during the final few pushes to see her make her way out of my body and into the world. She was immediately placed on my chest where she laid for a while before she was taken across the room for measurements, weight, and a few tests to make sure she was as perfect as I had known she was. My baby girl was born at 7:28am on Friday, June 15th.

Going into the hospital, my birth plan was “to wing it”. Whatever needed to be done for a safe delivery was what I wanted to happen. I didn’t plan on anything but was open to anything. When I told a friend about my birth plan, she told me hers was “to have a fucking baby”. YES! That was mine too! And that is exactly what happened.

If I were to do it all over again, the only thing I would change is to get the Epidural sooner. Having it made me so much more present and aware in the moment. When I was in pain and using the gas, I was trying my hardest to “be somewhere else” or to “not think about my body” and that isn’t what I wanted at all.

The birth of Coura was perfect! I had my bf, Matt, and my mom with me the entire time. My midwife was AMAZING and all the nurses were great! The Boulder Community Health Family Birth Center was exactly where I was meant to have her.

I can’t wait for her to read this!!

Thanks for all your love and support and messages and texts during the 5 days we were in the hospital. You have NO idea how much it helped me! THANK YOU!

For daily updates on Coura…

https://www.facebook.com/KirstenMcCaySmith/

See you soon!