“If Kirsten can do it, anyone can do it” said to me that I was nothing special. It said to me I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, fast enough, skinny enough, strong enough, rich enough, or any other ridonkulous things we tell ourselves when we are desperately trying to be “enough”.
Enough for what? I’m not skinny enough to be a model, I’m not smart enough to be an astronaut, I’m not pretty enough to be an actress, I’m not strong enough to be an Olympic swimmer , I’m not fast enough to be a pro triathlete, I’m not creative enough to be a musician, I’m not important enough to make a difference, I’m not savvy enough to build a big business, I’m not disciplined enough to have a savings account, I’m not rich enough to hire a personal chef or to get a massage every week or to buy AC for my house so I can sleep at night without soaking in a pool of sweat.
Crap! I am exhausted, anxious, and overwhelmed just thinking about it.
Although I consider myself a recovering perfectionist, the fact that I have tears in my eyes and a sick feeling in my gut tells me I have a long way to go.
I guess that’s what it’s called “recovering” and not “recovered”. Boo!
OMG…where was I?? Oh yes, I used to want to be better than everyone, I used I want to do things no one could do, accomplish feats that others wouldn’t even dream of attempting.
How foolish and naive I was thinking there was even such a thing. And if there was such a thing how little it would matter in the grand scheme if life.
That in itself makes me sad that I spent so much time and energy in the first 30 years of my life working toward something that’s only purpose was a false sense of love and adoration from others. And it makes me even sadder to know there are so many others still going through the same struggle that never ends in perfection…because there is no such thing.
I have proof! Let’s use women’s bodies as an example since I’m clearly obsessed with them.
The following 4 women have the “perfect” body for what they do…
Shawn Johnson: Olympic gymnast, 4’9”, 90 lbs, strong, muscular, and compact.
Gabby Reece: Olympic Volleyball player, 6’3”, 170 lbs, long legs and arms and long lean muscles.
Pamela Anderson: Super model, 5’7”, curvy with huge boobs.
Joan Benoit: Olympic Marathoner, 5’2”, 100 lbs, super lean, straight hips, and small arms and legs.
So each of these women is amazing at what they do, they each have the perfect body for what they have chosen as their career, but their bodies are SO drastically different. So which one is “the” perfect body? See…no such thing!
So let’s do ourselves a favor (yes, I am talking to myself) and STOP trying to be perfect, stop torturing yourself for being mediocre, stop hating yourself for being average, and know that TRULY you are affecting and helping more people when you are being YOU…just YOU!
People want to be able to relate to us, to have something in common with us, to know that we all are going through the same struggles. That is why it’s a compliment when people say “if she can do it, then I can do it”.
It means that someone is striving to be like you, but it’s realistic, it’s attainable, and it’s something they are excited to work toward!
So bring it on peeps! Anything I can do, you can do too…probably even better! And same goes for any goal or dream you have. If someone out there is doing it or has done it, so can YOU!!!
Be brave and share with me!
And I have this really awesome facebook group for those who are recovering perfectionists…
Ahhh…thanks for being here!
See you SOON!