I would “try” and all that would happen is I would start making a list of everything I had (or wanted) to do that day, week, month, year, century, and it would get me either overwhelmed, anxious, excited, or a combo of all three, but enough energy was produced that I would snap out of my “relaxed” state after about 30 seconds and take action.
I was a GO GO GO girl and didn’t want to take the time to calm my mind. My mind was for planning and prepping and setting goals and mapping them out, not “wasting time being blank” as I described it.
My body was much the same. GO GO GO. I was an athlete from a young age so I loved to move.
Immediately after college I became a personal trainer and fitness instructor teaching 10-15 classes a week. I even taught a form of yoga for years, but during savasana (relaxation) I didn’t relax because I was afraid I would fall asleep, but I still counted that as my “meditation”.
I often would swim, bike, and run long distances, and since I usually did these alone and with no music or anything to distract me, I started to count these activities as my meditation. However, I would typically take these opportunities to plan in very vivid detail my day, week, month, year, etc, so my mind AND my body were still operating at a frantic pace.
The funny thing is that I actually LEARNED to meditate when I was four years old. My parents were really into meditation so they took me to TM (Transcendental Meditation) school where I was given a mantra and taught to start with walking meditation repeating my mantra over and over in my head while walking the inside perimeter of the house for as many minutes as I was years old.
As soon as I was old enough to sit still, I would transition to a seated meditation, again the number of minutes as my age until 20 years old, and then continue with 20 minutes for the rest of my life.
I did this daily until I was maybe 13 years old, when I decided I didn’t “need” to do it anymore. I vaguely remember my dad bribing me with money…I think he said if I meditated every day for a year I would get $100. I considered it briefly but then decided I had more important things to do like get a boyfriend and try to be popular.
If I knew then what I know now (right…isn’t this always the case), I would have taken the $100 deal and kept up with my meditation. I am certain my life would look a lot differently now if I would have stuck with it. But hindsight is 20/20 and here I am…almost 30 years later…”trying” AGAIN to develop a meditation routine.
Until we see the value in something, I believe it’s almost impossible to make time, energy, money, etc for it. To add something into our lives, we have to give something up, and like most people out there, I thought my life was already pretty full. Plus…I had shit to do!! I can’t be lazing around thinking nothing!
Luckily, about 18 months ago I started listening to several podcasts on a regular basis and hearing interviews with all these amazing people I aspire to be like. They often mentioned meditation and how it changed their lives. As I listened to more and more people attribute a regular meditation practice to their success in life, business, relationships, sports, etc (even highly energetic and productive people), the desire to start kept getting stronger and stronger.
But here I am, almost a year after I decided to commit to a regular meditation practice, and I am still NOT doing it! WHY?????? I have no idea. What is keeping me from doing it?
I am normally such a JUST DO IT kind of girl! I need YOUR help! I need an easy way to get started.
If you have experience with this, please message me on facebook…
Or comment on my Blog (so we can also help others who are struggling)…
THANKS SO MUCH!! See you next week!!