I had an epiphany in the shower the other day. And I call this the “New Golden Rule”.
It is: treat yourself like you would treat others.
Now this only works if you are actually a good person, and treat others nicely, with respect, and forgive their flaws, which everyone has. But since I am such a person, this is important rule for me to follow.
I once had a therapist who told me to write a letter to myself as if I were writing it to my five-year-old self. I think the real exercise is to write a letter to your daughter or son in the same tone as you speak to yourself, and then read it out loud, to hear how obnoxious and horrifying the way we talk to ourselves is, but at the time I didn’t have children so I think she modified it to fit my current lifestyle. The purpose of this exercise is to show us that we would never treat other people as horribly as we tend to treat ourselves.
So back to my epiphany…
I had just given my 12 week old a bath, and of course I used the 100% super duper soft bamboo washcloths that I got for her to nourish her delicate skin and always make her feel like a spoiled princess.
After I dried her off, slathered her with coconut oil, and put on her softest most comfy pajamas, I jumped back in the shower so that I could bathe myself as well. I grabbed my rough, coarse washcloth, which I purposefully used to exfoliate my face.
I want to add in here that I’ve always hated my skin, ever since I was a tween, although we didn’t have a name for that age back then. I’ve used every abrasive harsh chemical filled product and procedure to try to make my skin smoother and softer looking over the years.
Nothing has worked. So as far as cleanser and moisturizer, I’m FINALLY using mild products, Dr. Bronner‘s baby soap as a cleanser and coconut oil as a moisturizer.
But every other day I grab that coarse washcloth and scrub the crap out of my face hoping to exfoliate all the bumps and lines and pitts from acne scars, which leaves my face red and sore. I justify this by soaking it in coconut oil overnight to help repair.
On a side note, I don’t think my skin has looked any better from doing this over the past few years.
So back to my shower the other night. I was reaching for my angry washcloth, when I remembered what gentle loving care I just gave my baby girl. I started thinking why the difference? After hundred justifications, I came to the conclusion that there is no difference, other than I want to take care of her, and I want to punish myself.
So BOOM! Right then and there I tossed my crappy hater washcloth and picked up my “I am worthy of love and self-care” washcloth!
This may sound like a trite and simple “problem” to a lot of people, but for me it is huge. It’s a smaller part of the bigger issue that I have struggled with my entire life; unconditional self-love.
So for me to make one small step toward loving myself more, I will take it!
Please do something extra nice to or for yourself today!
You are worthy! We all are!
Join the movement…
See you soon!