This is one of my fave quotes. I didn’t used to believe it, I’m so glad I do now!
Today I got three “hate” emails from people I don’t know regarding my “GoFundMe” campaign I set up to help me get to Kona, HI for the Ironman World Championships.
I was surprised at first when I read the emails because I didn’t know women my age actually took the time and energy to write hate mail, but then again, I don’t know exactly how old they are, I have no idea who these 3 women (girls?) are.
My first response was to email them back and defend all the things they were saying (how selfish I was begging for money to go to Kona for a second time, that there are people out there who are really struggling, and what a horrible person I was for giving up my relationship for a triathlon, etc, etc, etc), but then I thought about how I really felt about what they were saying to me and instead of defending myself, I wanted to hug them and tell them everything will be ok for them in the end.
Years ago, I would have reacted the same exact way after reading my story on GoFundMe (www.gofundme.com/kirtokona). I used to get so mad at people with big houses (why do they need such a big house), skinny women (why don’t they eat more), fat women (why don’t they eat less), stay-at-home moms (get a job), people who called in sick to work (suck it up), people who made a lot of money (pay more taxes), people who didn’t make any money (get a job), and so on and so on and so on!
Basically, since I was unhappy with myself and my life, everyone else’s life annoyed me.
So today I sent hope to these women that they too would soon love themselves more, I deleted the emails, and I gave myself props for coming so far in my own life.
One of the books that helped me the most in the area of “not taking things personally” is the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. #promo
This is one of my all-time favorite books for personal growth and I have read it several times. In fact, I make a point to listen to the audio on one road trip a year! Just as a reminder.
In the book, he goes into detail about why we shouldn’t take anything personally. The 3 main things he discusses are…
If we are hurt by what people say about us, there is a part of us that believes it is true (truth)
The things people judge us for have more to do with them than with us (see my examples above from the “old” me)
We can only be the best version of ourselves and do the best we can with what we know and where we are at in our lives. We can control what we do, say, have, etc, but not how other people feel, react, etc to us. If I am truly living the best version of me, nothing anyone can do or say to change that, especially when they don’t know me.
And the fourth thing I would add to this list that has helped me the most is to love myself more! Always always love myself more. The more I love myself, the less I care about what people think of me. Loving myself is the greatest gift I have ever given to myself.
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And if you want to donate to my campaign, here is the link…
I love you!
See you soon!