Today I didn’t freak out when I was hungry. Yay!! And I didn’t even realize it until it was over! Which means it’s really progress and not me trying super hard like I always to be better! Double yay!!
Here’s how it went down (let me know if you can relate)…
I waited too long to eat. I got home ravished, tired, overwhelmed with all I still needed to accomplish today, and Joey (my adorable yet needy dog) needed some snuggle time.
After 5 mins of cuddles and kisses, he needed to go out, so we went for a quick walk. When we got back home he was “hungry”…I put that in quotes because he already ate breakfast and typically won’t eat again unitl dinner, so I know he wasn’t really hungry, he is a stress eater like his mom and was having a rough day.
Anyhoo…I fed him and gave him an extra treat because I know how he feels.
By the time I got around to making my own lunch I was BEYOND hungry. I was light headed, foggy-brained, and my stomach was getting upset. In the past this would have resulted in not only a speed eating session, but also a continual binge after my regularly scheduled lunch because my brain apparently thought I needed 4,000 calories in one sitting.
Since I was feeling anxious about my upcoming lunch scenario, I took a few deep breaths. I ate slowly, stopping every couple bites to respond to email or Facebook messages. Ok fine, truth is out, I was multi-tasking but it ended up creating a positive result!
I would sip my drink (instead of the usual guzzle) after each response and continue to take deep breaths during this whole process.
My lunch was consumed over a 10 minute period which may be my PR for slowest meal ever!!
And to top it off, when I was done, without even thinking, I grabbed my stuff and headed out to my next thing. In the past I would have eaten another serving…or more…of what I was having.
I didn’t realize it until I was in the car driving off what had just happened. It’s almost like it happened automatically!! I can’t remember ever having this calm of an eating experience with all that was going on with me at the time.
So I wanted to share it. Not to brag (well maybe a little because I am SUPER proud of myself for reacting this way intuitively) but to share that there IS hope if you have ever experienced emotional, frantic, stressful, or anxiety-induced over-eating. I have experienced all of these, on a regular basis, for the past 30 years of my life.
I am finally seeing the pay-off from the efforts I have put into to my personal growth, my self-care, learning about my relationship with food, and working toward living a life I love.
There was a time, not so long ago, where I would get frustrated wondering if I was the oldest person on the planet with an eating disorder or if I was EVER going to be able to free my brain of 24/7 thoughts of food, meals, weight, exercise, body-image, and negative self-talk so I could actually do something productive with my life. I would often get discouraged thinking it would never happen. And that all the time, energy, and effort I am putting into loving and healing myself were just a waste. I felt sad for myself and the people around me who were 2nd in line for my thoughts and attentions. I truly wondered if I would ever be “cured”.
Well, I don’t know if I am “cured” or if this was a fluke…most likely something in between. I like to think it is progress and that small steps over time create big results!
If you are reading this and you can relate to anything I have talked about today, keep on keeping on!
Believe in yourself and the work you are doing. It gets better. I used to not be able to say that, but if you have read my past few posts, you can see I am starting to believe.
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See you next week!
And in the meantime…LOVE YOURSELF MORE!