So today in my mailbox was an issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine. It was put in my mailbox by mistake as it had a neighbors name/address on the label. The cover was AMAZING and completely started to suck me in!
Not only was it hot pink, there was a super sexy bad ass chick on the cover (Ruby Rose), the #1 way to tell if he is into you, “hot-body secrets”, and their biggest sex Q&A EVER!!! So many things I need to see and know and read and judge myself and my life against…and of course failing miserably in ALL departments!
In the past, I would have devoured this issue of Cosmo. I would have taken an hour out of my day and read it cover to cover, lingering on the pics of the hotties and coveting their eyes, lips, hair, wardrobe, and especially bodies.
I used to be OBSESSED with women’s magazines. I had subscriptions to at least 10 fashion, gossip, teen, etc magazines and would spend time every day looking through them, taking the quizzes, comparing my life, looks, body, and experiences to those the women shared between the pages.
But today (thank goodness), I have the will power to say NO! Don’t get me wrong. I considered opening it up and taking a peek! At least to see pics of Ruby Rose or find out if “he” is truly into me, no harm done RIGHT? Wrong! I know myself and how far I have come with my self-worth, loving myself unconditionally, and my confidence, and I know this could potentially be a disaster.
Even if it wasn’t a disaster, it may be a gateway mag to the next one I “accidentally” pick up at the hair salon or the doctor’s office. Which would compound my short-comings and over time I may slide back into my old world of self-loathing and desperation to have someone else’s skin, body, clothing, sex life, career, or life. But I said NO!
It was a therapist I had in college that first approached me with the idea of quitting watching “Days” (Days of Our Lives #embarrasing) and reading women’s mags. I was able to give up “Days” pretty easily after a couple years (thank god we didn’t have DVR back then or it may have been harder to quit), but the magazines were a harder habit to break. It took me about 10 years to finally let go of the need to see how amazing everyone else is and how lame I was.
I did cut down on reading the magazines, but when I would travel or at the gym or in the waiting room, I couldn’t help but pick up the issue and take a peek.
It never ended pretty. I always closed the magazine feeling less confident then when I opened it. So I stopped all together.
I haven’t been tempted for a while before today and I am happy to say I resisted! I am happy with my decision and put it back into the mail slot for the real owner, hoping she doesn’t have the same past issues as I do and the magazine doesn’t make her feel less of a person by reading it.
If you are doing something or watching something or looking at something or reading something on a regular basis that doesn’t make you feel good, STOP! We are hard enough on ourselves as it is. No need to add fuel to the fire!
YOU ROCK! And you know it!
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